u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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