I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
