I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
