I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
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I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize