I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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