Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
