he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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