i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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