she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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