Soap is not a condiment
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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