I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
