if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
