it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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