Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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