So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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