Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
