please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
