Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
