I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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