If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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