Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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