Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
