I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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