I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize