We're like a lot better than the average bears
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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