I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
