How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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