This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
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I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
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I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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