dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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