Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
