even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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