i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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