Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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