Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
