somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize