Will you blow on my dice?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
