he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
