do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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