hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Hippo gnu deer
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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