i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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