I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
