Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am spending my child support on dildos
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
