She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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