Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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