I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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