quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I came so hard my ears popped.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
