i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
