margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
