It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
