I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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