I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
