1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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