hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize