You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
